I knew in early recovery I needed to get connected to something. I knew that sitting on my hands and waiting for life to come to me to me was going to be a game plan for disaster. I had few friends in my early days of recovery, as many of my old “friends” were still caught up in a lifestyle I wanted to leave behind. I was shy, and wasn’t sure how to approach others in my new found life. I wanted to try something new, something exciting, something that would challenge me. Yet I was afraid to put myself out there, afraid of failure. Insecurity and fear, two pillars of my addiction. So I did just the opposite of what the “old me” would have done, which was succumb to those insecurities and fears. But I found that one shred of courage I had built up, I took a step into the batter’s box, and everything changed.
This is not a story of the new guy who walks out onto the field and hits a home-run and wins the championship. Nope, I stunk. I really was a bad softball player. With the attitude and principles of recovery, with a goal, a purpose of trying something new and meeting new people, I stuck it out. I kept putting the work in to be a better player. I kept showing up to the games, I kept asking questions, watching and learning from the veteran players. It was hard not to be critical of myself, but I learned to laugh when I screwed up. I learned that one mistake doesn’t ruin the game, and that it is always a team effort. I found something I enjoyed. I found something that challenged me. I found new friends and connections. I felt a part of something. Do any of these principles I found in softball sound like any other principles we practice in recovery. I think they do….
Show up. Ask for help. Don’t beat yourself up. Do it together. These are the principles I practice in my daily recovery. These are the attitudes and actions I want to exemplify in my life. Softball has given me a playing field where I can practice these principals and apply them to my everyday life away from softball.
Game on, Recovery!