Posted: Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Close your eyes and imagine you are at the airport. All around you, people are greeting loved ones or saying goodbye. You are standing next to the most important person in your life. You realize that, in a few moments, he or she will board a waiting airplane that will take the person far away—for how long, you don’t know. It’s time to say goodbye. How do you feel? (Dodge 2006)

This is what it feels like every day for your young child when you say goodbye in the morning after you drop him or her off at school, preschool or daycare. Young children, especially those under three, don’t have the ability to understand where you are when you are gone, and they don’t have a very good comprehension of time. Further, since you are the most important person in the world to that child, saying goodbye can be a traumatizing experience.

So, how do you make those goodbyes less painful and help the child have a good day? Bryna Hebert, M.Ed., The Providence Center Early Childhood Institute’s mental health consultant manager, offers several helpful suggestions for easing your child into his or her day:

First, routines make life predictable for your child. Use a routine in the morning before you drop him or her drop off, and a routine when you say goodbye. The goodbye routine should include something special that you both do to express your love each other. It could be a hug, a high five, a little dance – whatever is meaningful for your family. And, you need to confidently communicate the following:

For many children, it’s helpful to have a transition object such as a favorite blanket or stuffed animal. Most children only need the object for a little while and are satisfied with putting it away somewhere safe until naptime.