Originally Published August 2016
If someone close to you is dealing with a mental health issue, you may find yourself wondering what to say or if you should say anything at all. It’s completely normal to feel unsure or afraid of saying the wrong thing. But choosing silence out of fear can unintentionally make your loved one feel even more isolated. The truth is, showing that you care, even in small ways, can mean a great deal.
Do: Be Present and Listen
Sometimes, the most powerful thing you can offer is simply being there. You don’t have to have all the answers – just being a safe, nonjudgmental presence can provide comfort.
Let your loved one speak without interruption. Avoid jumping in with advice or trying to fix things right away. Start by listening. It’s more valuable than you might think.
Don’t: Minimize What They’re Going Through
Avoid comments like “Everyone feels that way sometimes” or “You’ll get over it.”
While these words might be well-intended, they can come off as dismissive.
Mental illness isn’t just a bad day or a passing mood – it’s a real health condition that deserves understanding and support.
Try acknowledging their pain instead with phrases like “I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way” or “That sounds really hard.”
Do: Offer Support with Daily Tasks
Mental health challenges can make even basic routines feel overwhelming. Offering help with things like running errands, cooking a meal, or just going for a walk together can be incredibly helpful. These small acts of kindness can provide relief and show your friend or loved one that they’re not alone.
Don’t: Pressure Them to “Snap Out of It”
Mental illness isn’t something someone can just will away. Telling someone to “cheer up,” “be more positive,” or “push through it” can do more harm than good. Healing takes time, professional support, and often treatment. Your role isn’t to fix them – it’s to walk beside them.
Do: Encourage Professional Help
If your loved one hasn’t yet connected with a mental health provider, gently encourage them to do so. Let them know there’s no shame in asking for help and offer to support them through the process – whether that means helping them find a therapist, driving them to an appointment, or checking in regularly.
Don’t: Forget to Care for Yourself, Too
Supporting someone with mental illness can be emotionally draining. It’s important to take time for your well-being, physically and mentally. Set healthy boundaries when needed and seek support for yourself if you need it. You can’t pour from an empty cup.
Remember:
The most important thing you can do is show up with compassion and patience. You don’t need to have perfect words or solutions. Just being present – truly present – can be a powerful source of comfort and hope.
If you or someone you care about is struggling with mental health, don’t hesitate to reach out to a mental health professional. Help is available, and no one has to go through it alone.
If you know someone in need of mental health or addiction treatment, consider referring them to The Providence Center.
Disclaimer: The content in this blog is for informational and educational purposes only and should not serve as medical advice, consultation, or diagnosis. If you have a medical concern, please consult your healthcare provider or seek immediate medical treatment.
