Posted: Monday, April 03, 2017

Growing up, Alanna Serviss was always an athlete.  From ice hockey, soccer, basketball, softball and gymnastics, there wasn’t a season she wasn’t playing a sport.   She idolized her older brother, a standout ice hockey goalie, and quickly followed in his footsteps. 

Putting on her first pair of skates at age three, she soon made hockey an enormous part of her life.   It didn’t matter that it was a completely male dominated sport in her hometown of Chicago. Alanna just loved the game.

“I was the only girl playing hockey in my middle school and high school.  Nobody understood it.”

People also didn’t understand Alanna’s ongoing struggles. 

“As a teen, I had a lot of sad bouts and I didn’t know why.  I noticed it most when I was in high school.  I would get really anxious before games and often throw up,” said Alanna.    

Upon graduation, Alanna chose to attend a local community college and that’s when things really changed.

“I started to feel worthless…like a failure for not going away to college like everyone else.  I didn’t want to do anything.  I would go to class and couldn’t focus.  I just didn’t want to be there.”

Alanna’s parents could see her struggling and pushed for her to get help.  She was finally diagnosed with ADHD, depression and anxiety.   Through medication and therapy with a sports psychologist, she got her life back on track.  She applied and was accepted at Providence College to play on the women’s division one hockey team.

When looking back throughout her years on the ice, Alanna admits she was groomed to be mentally tough.  “Hockey is such a tough sport.  I couldn’t show any weakness or emotion.   I was always told that when you get to the rink, you need to leave everything in your life at the door.  But that’s not reality!”

It wasn’t until her sophomore year at Providence College, when Alanna had a panic attack on the ice that she understood first-hand just how much stigma is still associated with mental illness for student-athletes.

“I remember being on the ice, and getting really anxious.  I was holding it all in.  I couldn’t breathe.  I couldn’t talk to anyone.   I was terrified.  I thought I was going to die.  Not having anyone around me that knew how to handle it was equally as terrifying,” she said.

Soon after, it all clicked.

“Anxiety is such a big issue for college students – especially athletes trying to juggle the demands of their academics and practice schedules.  Being able to admit you need help takes a lot of guts and doesn’t make you weaker – it actually makes you stronger.”

Empowered by her journey, Alanna decided to speak out in an effort to help reduce stigma and support others who struggle with mental illness.  With support from staff at Providence College, Alanna helped to coordinate the team’s January 21 game dedicated to raising awareness for mental health issues with proceeds benefitting The Providence Center.  She raised the majority of the $1,000 with help from family and friends online, and donations were also contributed at the game.

“I wanted to do something to support a local organization that is really making a difference like The Providence Center, and I hope to be able to partner with their team again in the future.  They have offered their clinical expertise to help create a workshop for coaches and student-athletes identifying warning signs and potential triggers of mental illness,” said Alanna.  “Together, we all can make a difference and help spread awareness.”